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Sunday, February 13, 2011

33. What I wish I could say - I

People come and people go and as their lives touches ours, however infinitesimally, something changes irrevocably in us, and always for the better and we grow as a human being.

The words that escape me, lending voice to what my heart weaves and my head simplifies, have always been easy when they come from my fingers. And strangely enough words that I speak are not even close enough. I can never say. I am an introvert who cannot speak her heart even when she wants to. Oftentimes misunderstood, like possibly several of the kind, in my ability to mean something and enunciate something entirely different when with someone where the relationship is not just personal but symbiotic, social or professional.

But am I really an introvert? I can't say aloud but I can write! I always could write what I couldn't say, even if I wouldn't choose to give them words. So here is where I seek refuge.



K,

        I have admired you from afar. Hero-worshipped wouldn't be too wrong a word. For what you had achieved and of course, the work you did. But strangely enough I didn't know of the fame you'd been gathering. I started reading on your work because it was what I wanted to do, I realized. That part was a professional move, a career dream, to do what you will be motivated in.
        Then I met you. You gave me a chance for a thing that comes to you only once in life. You gave me a chance when others would have found reasons to turn me away. And i was going to make the best of it!
        I tripped so many times in my quest to impress you. Unsure of what you might be looking for, or indeed when you were looking on closely. I wanted to show you, you will never be disappointed in me. Because I am able and capable. I believe it.
        You are also my ideal as a woman. The career you have made, the family you nurture and the human being you are. Conversations with you has always been inspiring. Your nod of approval, always with a smile has always made me happy, made me feel I can push my limits farther. Your help, your insights and the faith you have shown in me has made me want to achieve much, much more than I had initially set out to do. It is now that I feel that I can do more, so much more and make you feel proud that I am your protégé.
        You are such an amazing person, a boss that reflects in the people who work for you, the family at the workplace, a throng of people from all parts of the world knitted so beautifully together.
        They say, you are too kind. So I have seen. I don't want it to be kindness towards me that will let me stay on but the faith that I will be great for all of us. But then I think even if it is just kindness for the time being, I'll take it as another chance to prove to you that I am, I will be an asset, to you, to us, to what you have created, something you'll always be glad about.
        It is your workplace, the only place thousands of miles away from the only home I have ever known that makes the journey worthwhile. All the times spent on this continent with T notwithstanding, this is where I feel happy.
        There is no other place, no other boss I'd rather work for in the next few years for my cherished degree.


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