39. You are what I need

There was despair and darkness
And the rotten stench of death
Born out of misery of the heart
And the terrors in disguise
That broke everything apart
The faith, the dreams, the lost love
All felled down by misplaced trust
Given to one who never deserved
To one who wasn’t You
You, who was The One,
The one waiting for me too.
It is you who I have loved
With every breath of life
Even before I knew what love meant
What it meant to live
To die for the one unto death
You didn’t heal my wounds with a charm
It was as if there were no wound, no harm
You were my sun in the crushing darkness
You were my vision in utter blindness
You gave me life when life gave me up
The world righted itself when you took me in your arms
But even before I knew that I was your The One
I knew, you were mine  - the night we watched the stars
I knew I loved you whether you did or not
And I knew that’s what was meant, from eternity and time
One day, I had hoped, I would come for you
Unscathed, healed and pure
And show you my love, my victory galore
But you smiled and said
You are pure, and I heal you
With love that you showed me
I finally knew
I never had really known what love was
Until I saw it in your eyes
Unscathed, healed and pure I was
My misplaced love returned home
It’s you who I have loved for all time
It’s you to whom I have always belonged
This was my song, my tribute to you
I only have the words in me
To give to you, my love
I have no tune to add
But then I remember,
It’s you who are my Music
My Universe, My God.

Yes, I should tell you
I love you unto death
And after, and beyond.
I do. I do.
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38. Happiness

The funny thing is the moment  I started thinking “happy”, they piled on, spilled over, paraded in by the dozen, hundreds, thousands and countless…

Like a young river overflowing in the rains, happy to be flowing that it bounces and dances over the rocks… the rocks that instead of hurting makes it froth, foam and splash into cheerful waves as the young river runs forth and ahead, ever continuing on its journey, restless and excited.

Freedom and happiness are two states of mind. The day I started enumerating the reasons that made me happy, I realize today that the exercise that was meant for me to appreciate (and one day, teach my kids to, too) life and measure it in small blessings, that exercise of thinking of the good things brought forth another barrage of good things.

I had just been wondering, how have been so lucky? When today I realized, I brought it for me.

It all comes down again to the simple mantra I know, I talk about, I show-off… All you have to do is believe.

Today – I am happy to find out nothing, no one but me is responsible for my happiness. I was happy today to have found my smile. Within me.

Plus, I am going dancing… !!

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