31. Mere Humans

It is human fallacy. Trapped in the machinations of a power I'd bow to, I'd understand but still let it take me under.

Time. How it crawls when you'd want nothing more than it to just speed up and take you away from where you don't want to be or take you to where you badly want to be! And how does it runs faster and faster, galloping away when you want nothing better than it to stop, stop and stay till you had your limitless fill!

There was a time when I used to just hear your voice. And I wished I could see you. Now that I see you, and hear you, I want to touch you. Just a fingertip across your smiling face. Just a single moment.

But I know that will not be enough. Now I know better. I want you, not just hear, not just see, not a single touch. But with me,wrapped around me! For now to eternity.

Is it human fallacy alone when I know it, understand it and welcome it? Is it a power over me or do I hold the power over it. That's what love does to you. Who said love makes you weak?

My love for you is my strength. My yearning for you.

---

30. To the Musician of My Life

You never thought about 'Greatness'
You only ever thought about the 'Music'
And that's when I found the 'Greatness' in you...

Nothing needs to change...

Let your love and faith in
Music play on
And let my conviction in your
'Greatness' achieve its heights...

You don't have to believe me,
I believe what I saw in You
when I fell in Love....

---

29. Distance: Neha to Me

It feels strange to get attached to someone you have never seen or met. How many of you think that online relationships are absurd? Isn't it the most rubbish form of relationship that ever exists? I did think so too, until I met Guria.

We have mentioned this time and again about how we met. This very virtual world of blogging that introduced me to her who has become a part of me today. Until then, for me, the funda of getting really close to someone you know through chat rooms or blogs was nothing but foolish. I raised my eyebrows, sighed and called people foolish who ever mentioned that they met online. But after G entered into my real world virtually, I had to eat my own words.

From e-mails to facebook comments, from pokes to smses and from chat to phone calls - our friendship has grown with each passing day and each passing moment. We have had our share of happiness as well as sadness, taking attacks as well as fighting for each other, protecting and making the other strong during those weak moments, and always emerge as the surviving duo in the toughest situation.

She is more than a soul sister to me. We are literally in east-west corners of the country we live in; but that was somehow not a "distance" I was worried about. I could call her whenever I wanted to, thanks to our more or less similar timeline.

But things are going to be different now. She will be in a different city, different country, different continent and different timeline. Well, I will still be able to call her anytime I want to, but the "distance" will be widened now. The distance will be almost impossible for me to cover to reach her. But I know she will still be there for me whenever I need her, unconditionally, always, like she has always been. She will still be able to make out from my voice that I am sad or confused and she will still be as happy for me as I am for her in all her triumphs.

Love you girl.

Don't publish this. It is meant only for you. My state of mind is not helping me to write what I want to write. But I know that you know what I think about you right? :)

---

From Neha to Me on 15th August 2010.

I love you back, girl.

২৮. চিকাগোএ তুমি

তোমার কথা খুব মনে পড়ে | কখন মনে হয় তুমি অনেক দূরে, আবার কখন খুব কাছে | আসলে তুমি আমার কাছেই আছো তবে কখন বড্ড বেশী দেখতে ইচ্ছে করে |

তুমি ভালো আছো তো? আমি ভালো | তোমার কাছে যাব চিকাগো-তে | জানি কলকাতাতে  বাবা-মা সব্বাই কে রেখে যাব তবু তোমার কাছে থাকতে বড্ড ইচ্ছে করে |

তারপর তুমি-আমি তো এসবই ফিরে আমাদের মা-বাবার কাচ্ছে, তাই না? 

কিন্তু তুমি যে আমার সঙ্গী তোমায় ছাড়া পারি কি করে বলো?

ভীষণ ভালোবাসি তোমায় | তোমার কথা সত্যি খুব মনে পড়ে, আর তোমার কাছে যেতে ইচ্ছে করে সমুদ্র পাড়ি দিয়ে.... 

27. 20

Has there been this conflict ever?

I have never lived 20 days that have been so agonizingly long and so excruciatingly short.

Home is where you are. But this is home, too.

For once I can't want, won't want, how can you when it's either-or?